Where the Bruised Cucumber meets the Sippy Cup!

A Loud Mama with a loud family, living imperfect lives glorified through God and breaking free of the bondage of politically correct Religion. We do things differently around the Viking Homestead, and hope that, by sharing our lives, we can help others feel more comfortable with their differences as well.

05 March, 2012

Biblical Reasons for Divorce

Well, lets just get right into it shall we?  I'm sure the topic for this post is already raising a couple of eyebrows.  Especially depending on your views of divorce, your relationship with God and how you interpret the Bible.  Everyone is different and will have a different relationship with God and understanding of the Bible based on the convictions that God has placed on their heart.  With that being said, This post isn't written out of judgement or criticism.  I'm writing this post for myself.  These are my beliefs on Biblical grounds for divorce based on my experiences, my convictions and what God has placed on my heart.  When discussing what the Bible says about divorce, it is important to keep in mind the words of Malachi 2:16 “I hate divorce, says the Lord God.” With this statement it is very clear that even if there are instances where divorce is permissible, that doesn't mean it should be the first or only option.  In my opinion, in today's 'instant gratification', throwaway culture, its MUCH easier to just go grab a quickie divorce than to actually deal with the problems that got you to that point anyhow.  I've seen many relationships fall apart simply because the couple 'grew apart' and, instead of seeking counselling, or doing something to save the relationship, they just slowly grow into complacency and ultimately decide they need to divorce due to the ever popular 'irreconcilable differences'.  I think both the process of getting married and getting divorced should be a more difficult process than it usually is.  To get married, you just need to get a marriage license.  As long as you are of legal age, you don't need any permission or blessing.  Its a little TOO easy in my opinion.  Imagine how many marriages would be prevented if the couple were required to go through a year of premarital counseling first.  At the very least 6 months.  This would be a wonderful thing.  Those marriages that would be prevented were ones that wouldn't have lasted in the first place and the counseling was probably longer than the entire span the couple had been dating.  Think of the grief that would be saved and the families that would be spared because of this! The same goes for divorce.  People want what they want when they want it.  Imagine if they HAD to go to counselling.  To at least give it the old 'college try' before destroying their family on a whim?  Now, I understand there would need to be exceptions to the latter.  If you are in an abusive relationship, then you don't need to live in the same house with your abusive spouse.  Get somewhere safe where they can not harm you or your children and go from there. 
     Now, when people speak of Biblical reasons for divorce they are 'usually' debating one of two things: what the Bible says are acceptable reasons for divorce period OR what the Bible says are reasons for divorce that would allow remarriage.  The Bible gives two clear grounds for divorce:  sexual immorality (Matthew 5:32; 19:9) and abandonment by an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:15).  Divorce is not required in these circumstances but is viewed as grounds for divorce.  If your spouse commits one of these offenses against you, and there is NO possibility of any reconciliation after counseling, then, after you have exhausted all options, divorce is permissible.  Now, it is my personal belief and conviction that, if you divorce for these reasons then remarriage is permissible without causing yourself to commit adultery.  There are people that disagree with me and I very well understand why.  It can be a very slippery slope.  Also, people will disagree on what constitues sexual immorality.  Some people are very cut and dry: only a classic instance of adultery constitues sexual immorality.  However, depending on your convictions, then someone being married to a person who is homosexual would also meet the requirements of being able to divorce on grounds of sexual immorality.  Also, I personally view pornography addiction and any form of extra-marital affair(including emotional affairs) fall under sexual immorality and would therefore be Biblical grounds of divorce.  Now, I don't seek to impress my convictions or beliefs on anyone.  This is what I believe and again, its based on my relationship with God and the beliefs that he has laid on my heart.  From what I have read(including the Bible), I feel that divorce for these reasons would allow one to remarry without commiting adultery. 
     While the Bible does not discuss several other common reasons for divorce, and I will by no means presume upon the word of God, I also could never judge someone who fell outside of the above reasons but needed to leave their marriage.  The most frequent additional grounds for divorce, which, as best I can tell are discussed neither explicitly or implicitly in the Bible,  that people inquire about are spousal abuse (emotional or physical), child abuse (emotional, physical, or sexual), drug / alcohol use,  criminal activity or imprisonment, and mismanagement of finances (such as through a gambling addiction). None of these can be claimed as Biblical grounds for divorce in my opinion.
However, my feelings on this matter are that, since I believe that there are circumstances for divorce with remarriage, these cases, if they ultimately led to divorce, would not allow for me to remarry.  If I divorced my husband because he had done any of the above, I could not remarry unless I wanted to commit adultery on a daily basis.  Now, do I necessarily 'agree', well, not always.  I don't think that God wants any of His children to suffer, and it breaks His heart.  Its much like disagreeing with your own parents.  You disagree but you respect their decisions because(usually) they love you so much it hurts and want what's best for you, not necessarily what's the most fun or the easiest path.  Don't settle for the easy path.  I'm not here to follow my own path or try to get out of life in the easiest way possible.  Everyone has a task to complete and a life that God put them here to live out to His glory.  Thats what I want to do, for every day that I am granted on this earth.  

No comments:

Post a Comment