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| Wearin' mah sunglasses...I'm THAT cool! ;) |
4/4/12. I had a midwife appointment that afternoon. I woke up mid-morning after a restless night with very little sleep. I was having contractions, but I'd been having prodromal labor for WEEKS so thought nothing of it. I cooked breakfast and tried to clean the house since I knew my in-laws would be over that afternoon to watch the kiddos while I went to see my midwife. I was especially keen to get all the laundry done, since we'd just gotten a new washer and dryer! I spent the day doing laundry and laying in bed with the kiddos and talking on the phone with my best friend. Cranky Pirate was helping out, as he'd taken off work the last few midwife appointments 'just in case'. While on the phone, I started feeling unwell, thinking I had to use the toilet. It turned out that it was just a bit of bloody show. I wasn't too worried as I'd had that with my prior pregnancy and didn't deliver for another two weeks. I was REALLY dreading this appointment and considered rescheduling it, because I was to have an NST and I knew that the 'induction' talk would probably come up. However, Cranky Pirate had already taken the day off and the kiddos were taken care of, so I figured that, at the very least, we could go get some really yummy ice cream or something. We left for the midwife around 1:15. At some point during the drive, I noticed Cranky Pirate giving me a look. I asked him what was wrong, and he said 'nothing, but you're in labor'. I told him to stop being silly, cranked the ac down some more, and tried to readjust so I could get comfortable. I couldn't. I wanted a tylenol and a hot shower. I wanted to go to bed. I wanted to go home. We finally got to the midwives office and he parked at the hospital 'just in case'. I got out of the car and, as I stood up, just felt like I couldn't walk. I wasn't too bothered as this had happened before. The baby would drop and boy would I feel it! I just assumed, being this late in the pregnancy, that it was par for the course. However, I had to keep stopping....it took over 15 minutes to walk from the hospital to the elevator. Its about a 5 minute walk tops, but I just had to keep stopping. We finally got to the office and I found out there was a bit of a hold up for the ultrasound, so I told them I was going to go lay down on the couch by the midwives office. The minute I got back there, the receptionist took one look at me and asked me how long I had been in labor. I told her that I wasn't in labor, Cranky Pirate told her since 10pm the prior evening, a midwife came out, looked at me, and told me she needed to check me straight away. I was utterly shocked to find out that I was dilated 7cm and completely effaced. I had never really gone into labor on my own, so I was amazed to see that I had done it. So, we slowly made our way back to the hospital where I spent about 30 minutes messing about texting people while waiting to get a room and meet the midwife on call. I finally got a room and started talking with the midwife. She wanted to have me on a monitor for about 15 minutes so I could get that out of the way and get into the tub. I was happy with my progress and I felt REALLY good. Now, the nurses, after taking 10 tries to place a heplock were causing me to lose my focus, so I had them get someone to come in and place it because at this point, I NEEDED to get in the tub. I went in and got in the shower while the water was running, keep remembering my breathing and all the positive stories I had heard about childbirth. And then I got MAD! Thats right, MAD! See, in so many natural childbirth classes, no one talks about pain or anxiety or anything like that. They avoid it, because fear causes tension and tension causes pain. Well, I think talking about the pain and giving lots of advice and time to deal with it would be WAY better than telling me its just pressure and can be done with NO pain. Yeah, my contractions were pressure the way a tornado is an air current! It wasn't so much the pressure, it was feeling my baby fully engage in my pelvis and, subsequently, feeling my pelvis spread apart. That was the crazy part. I was in the tub and the contractions were really beyond me at this point. I remember sitting there, in the tub and I just started crying. I was wondering just exactly what in the hell I had gotten myself into. That there was NO way I could do this. Then, my midwife came it. She was wonderful. She got me out of the tub, dried me off and just started talking to me. I don't really remember most of what she said, but I remember telling her how scared and upset I was. That I was in so much pain, that I couldn't take it and that I felt bad because I wasn't coping very well. She told me that I was coping just fine, that childbirth did hurt, but that it was fine and that I just needed to have the baby. I was worried that I wouldn't be far enough along, even though I was feeling pushy. Well, I decided to get back on the bed and, sure enough, not only was I 10 cm, but the baby was coming and how. My midwife offered to break my water, and I let her. 3 pushes later, at 5:43 pm, Little Birdie arrived earthside, caught by Cranky Pirate and my midwife, and placed on my chest. She cried very little and was very alert. It was all just very surreal. I look at pictures and don't remember anything going on around me. I had just done so many things that so many people had said I couldn't do. I couldn't carry a baby to term. I couldn't deliver without medication. Oh yeah? Watch me! ;) It was beautiful and brutal and empowering and traumatic all at once. It was amazing. Little Birdie is now 10 1/2 weeks old. In some ways I can't believe she's only been here 10 1/2 weeks. Its like she's always been here. On the other hand, I can't believe its been that long already. I firmly believe that I'm given each child I have to learn a lesson from them, and I can't wait to see just exactly what Little Birdie has to teach me! We are so well and truly blessed!
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